Pure data. You don’t believe data—you test data. . . .If I could put my finger on the moment we genuinely fucked ourselves, it was the moment we decided that data was something you could use words like believe or disbelieve around. (Paolo Bacigalupi, The Water Knife 2015)
Happiness and sadness come from the same source. (Chinese saying)
Without contraries is no progression. (William Blake, Marriage of Heaven and Hell 1908)
Ebb and flow, expansion contraction, up down—these are natural movements, like our own breath, or tai ji, the symbol of yin and yang. You can’t have one without the other—together they make up a whole. And one is constantly transforming into the other—even if undetectable to us. Most often we prefer just one aspect of the experience, and usually it’s whichever one is easiest or feels the best in the moment.
These kinds of opposing forces have been on my mind during the last three months while the clinic has been closed. I remember so very well opening this clinic in 2013: all the heady excitement of obtaining a space, sourcing furniture, painting and arranging, and figuring out the processes of various licenses, insurance, and finally social media. It was a lot work but our momentum was strong, unstoppable.
Things evolved well and the clinic grew at a nice, sustainable pace. I made my first hire and felt so happy to have created another job for a person. We both marveled when that first check paid out—perhaps, I more than she. If you have a business background, this may be funny to you, but I was an English major and never in my life thought I would create a job for someone, and certainly never imagined I would start a business much less sustain one.
In the last three years the clinic has continued to evolve and provided more part-time jobs for people. Small business is not easy at all, but the rewards are innumerable and they are beyond a simple dollar amount. Like many people, I have moved in and out of shock at the turn of events caused by coronavirus—which continue to change daily. And the clinic is changing again as a result. My greatest struggle has been to realize how much this pandemic has gutted the original mission and vision of accessible, affordable acupuncture.
Safety is always paramount in healthcare and in normal times certain practices and proximity were okay. These aren’t normal times and the physical distancing required to maintain safety dictates less access and less affordability, and for this clinic, fewer jobs.
This virus has laid bare and exploited all of the inequities of our society with people of color dying in greater numbers than others. Underlying conditions that are rampant in the US (e.g. heart disease, diabetes, and asthma) have proven to make it even more fatal. It has shown us how broken so many of our systems are and that meaningful change is non-negotiable at this point.
While I have thrummed with anger and despair over the state of the world, our Long Beach community, and my own personal life, I am hoping good, lasting changes will come out this experience. Getting to the other side of this pandemic will require new ways of thinking and new ways of treating. I have other plans in the works and will share them when they become more fully formed. Right now, I am focusing on a slow re-opening. I aim to embrace the present state—however uncomfortable—and see what comes next.